Mirror, Mirror On the Wall, Is that My Gunt Or Just My Balls?

ImageOver the years I have heard many times that the ultimate deterrent to cheating on your diet is to eat in front of a mirror or better worse yet in front of a mirror naked. Sorry but no. Juuust…no.

Among the things I’d like less:

  • listening to Scarlett Johansson’s god awful East Coast accent in Don Jon for any considerable amount of time
  • having to work in an office again and listen to people twice my age talk about politics, the Olympics and the benefits of fiber
  • reading another Facebook debate about whether the redneck Duck Dynasty patriarch is a harmless bible thumper or the devil incarnate with really questionable taste in facial hair

Instead, I suggest trying to overeat with a copy of People’s semi-annual (seems like?) “Half Their Size” issues open in front of you. People have won The Biggest Loser with smaller losses than 50%. I highly recommend getting a copy of this issue stat and if you have some extra money shell out for the US Weekly with Channing Tatum’s side piece on the cover. Good for her for losing the baby weight but I skipped to the Jessica Simpson article as I find her a little more inspiring. JS got legit real world big and not just Hollywood lost-the-double-zero-and-now-just-a-zero overweight.

In closing, go Niners. Sorry Green Bay fans but I don’t believe in it being anyone’s “turn” to win. In football and weight loss, you have to earn every victory.


About amber111780

I'm a writer-turned-business owner looking to quell my literary urges while drumming up motivation for my fitness goals by writing about them every chance I get. Every chance that I'm not working, gulping diet soda by the liter, working out, and eating my weight in Sour Patch Kids.
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One Response to Mirror, Mirror On the Wall, Is that My Gunt Or Just My Balls?

  1. Ann says:

    I’m going to take your advice babe, I’ll let you know !

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