Somehow XXX Isn’t As Sexy On a Clothing Tag or Why You Can’t Lose Weight While Eating Like A Diabetic in a Dark Theater

Before there was FitBit or the Nike Fuelband, there was the BodyBugg, a little device capable of answering that burning question all dieters face- no, not “does tanned fat make me look smaller?” but the often-asked “why can’t I lose weight?” 

When I first saw this little gadget on The Biggest Loser, I was blown away. Finally Jillian had a way to prove that weight loss is indeed scientific, utilizing a formula no more complicated than calories out- calories in= weight loss.

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I knew that I had to get one and I did long before most people even knew the gadgets were possible. Everywhere I went cashiers or nosy old people would eye my band asking, “so what’s that?” The worst times were when I was at the supermarket buying oh, say enough chips to warrant them first asking, “Oh, are you having a party?”

Knowing the precise number of calories burned all day really puts things into perspective. There can be no denying that the grueling 30-minute run that morning won’t be completely erased by the bacon ultimate cheeseburger or that the quick weight loss you saw at the beginning of other diets was most definitely water weight because it takes an unholy amount of time to create a deficit of 3,500 calories unless you want to eat way less or exercise way more.

The Bodybugg has evolved over the years and can now give me information about how soundly I sleep which I use to calculate absolutely nothing. But my reliance on its hard data has not changed. At the beginning of every earnest attempt to reduce the size of my butt into something resembling either a vegetarian or a small Asian boy, I strap on my Bodybugg and get to work. If it works, work it. If it comes in a crinkly plastic package and sounds better than a vegetable, avoid it. Or be prepared to work it off. At least with the Bodybugg you can watch it sloooowwwwly disappear.

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About amber111780

I'm a writer-turned-business owner looking to quell my literary urges while drumming up motivation for my fitness goals by writing about them every chance I get. Every chance that I'm not working, gulping diet soda by the liter, working out, and eating my weight in Sour Patch Kids.
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