I have a friend who disappears a lot. Whenever I see her, it starts with an apology from her. How she is really sorry she has not seen me for the past 30 days, six weeks, four months, insert super long time period. Then she asks anywhere from two to ten times if I am sure I am not mad at her for disappearing, for ignoring my periodic phone calls and texts asking how she is, how it’s going, if she wants to get together. Communications that generally end with my saying, “no, I am not mad at you.” If she didn’t live in a gated community I might go by her house and see if anyone buys that bs about just being in the neighborhood.
When I see her I find myself thinking that she is among my favorite people in the world and I have a great time with her but I also kind of know that she will disappear again. And because I love her and because she is worth it, I wait and I understand and I work not to take it personally. I had the pleasure of attending her destination wedding, a lavish affair filled with a ton of her family and her new husband’s friends/family. When I introduced myself to her family they were surprised that she had invited any friends and more surprised that I had made the trip. It was then I really and truly got that her behavior had really rooted out people who were not interested in being true friends to her and I decided it was their loss.
The closest most people probably come to this is when a friend gets a new boyfriend/girlfriend and falls off the face of the planet. It hurts to have someone who used to choose time with you over so many things suddenly decide their time is best spent with their love interest but it happens and it’s natural and we all do it to some extent so you can either be the friend you want others to be or you can give up. If you choose the latter, you would eventually have to realize that unless you are friends with some unredeeming, foul looking people everyone will partner up at some point and you will go through the cycle so stick with the people who are worth waiting for.
Long analogy made longer, I’m sorry that I was gone so long without any word about my diet and fitness efforts. The idea of blogging for fun/accountability/therapy is new to me this year and clearly I had my first long-term disappearance. Writing this it doesn’t feel like I’ll mess up again but life has a way of putting you in a spin cycle and spitting you out sopping wet sometimes and let’s just say I’ve been through the wringer a bit lately. Unfortunately unlike a lot of clothes I can’t be bothered to hand-wash, I have not shrunk since I last wrote. However, I am doing some new things that I can’t wait to tell you about in the very near future. I will be back, hopefully tomorrow or the next day but definitely sooner rather than later.