The Unquestionable Sex Appeal of Clint Howard

Last night I had the pleasure of watching the most awesome movie in the history of movies I’ve seen in at least a week. The premise of The Wraith without giving away too many spoilers is that there are these really weird bullies in a small town, who wear gaudy makeup and inexplicably drink and snort WD-40.

wraithwd40

Their deal is that they go around forcing people into rigged drag races with the stakes being the title of their cars. Their leader looks about 40 and is obsessed with a very young and adorably blond Sherilyn Fenn, who he has never so much as dated or banged. No matter- he is sure she will love him if he just tells her she will enough times. God knows I’ve tried that a bunch. It’s worked exactly none of the time. Clint Howard is the brains of the operation, which is so unfair because how come he never gets to be the hot leading man?

Behold, the panty dropper!

Behold, the panty dropper!

The actual hot leading man is none other than Charlie Sheen, who went from playing a teenager in this to playing grown-ass Bud Fox in Wall Street a year later. Oddly he was believable in both. I guess that’s why he can afford to dump buckets of money over his head.

thewraith

So anyway the gang soon finds themselves the target of a very futuristic car whose driver is out to cause mayhem for motives made very obvious very quickly. So elusive and talented is this driver that even the sheriff (played by a subdued Randy Quaid wasted in this role) cannot stop him from killing off gang members like a young Amber Edwards offed opponents in Street Fighter both 20 days and 20 years ago (there’s an 80s arcade near where I live that is freakin sweet). Eventually the movie tied everything up as best it could considering the writing of the script took less time than it takes me to eat a box of lemon heads. I was definitely left with more questions than answers but it was a fun watch so if you haven’t seen it maybe you should.

In actual workout/fitness news I wanted to share something pretty funny. If you aren’t a blogger then you don’t know that most sites allow you to see how random people found your blog through search engines based on your tags and keywords. So if I do my job right today for example, someday people will find this by searching for “can you drink WD 40?” or “how long does it take to eat a box of lemon heads?” Oddly, the post of mine most often found via search engine was one where I wrote about how I had done a bunch of sod installs for my man’s company Act of Sod (www.actofsod.com) and had lost so much water weight in a day that after I weighed myself I pretended to be that guy in Thinner only without the impending death. After a week I had legit lost like five pounds and had the satisfaction of knowing I improved the lives or at least yards of half a dozen people. So it does work. You should try it. In fact if you live in the area of Modesto, the Bay Area or Sacramento, CA and want to install sod for payment with lemon heads or buy cheap sod, you should visit Act of Sod. The real reward is not the resulting lawn but the weight loss, folks. Ask not what your sod can do for your curb appeal but what it can do for your butt.

Anyway, here’s to you fair reader however you found me. Maybe you’re a stranger in Brazil or maybe you’re my mom or maybe even my real dad who I know must be a king somewhere and looking for me but whoever you are, you’re here and I’m glad. See you next time, readers.

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About amber111780

I'm a writer-turned-business owner looking to quell my literary urges while drumming up motivation for my fitness goals by writing about them every chance I get. Every chance that I'm not working, gulping diet soda by the liter, working out, and eating my weight in Sour Patch Kids.
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One Response to The Unquestionable Sex Appeal of Clint Howard

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