How to Lose Tons of Weight Eating Pizza

There are two kinds of fitness articles that get me every time: the ones showing people half the size they used to be and ones that talk about how many calories you can burn doing everyday tasks. Did you know that if you weigh 150 lbs you can burn 36 calories kissing for 30 minutes? Or that you can burn 72 calories folding clothes for that same 30 minutes? Or that reading my blog burns hundreds of calories a minute and gives you instant street cred? At least two of those things are true and the other is at least half true.

When a good friend of mine recently told me about how she shredded nearly half a pound last weekend while throwing the must-attend birthday party of the year, I was all ears. You guys, this party? Was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle party for her 4 year old and she got to use words like “shell-elbrating” and the kids (and I’m guessing a few drunk adults) got to play Pin the Pizza on the Pepperoni. When I was young I loved me some Ninja Turtles, these chill, irreverent, tough reptiles who shunned the pellets most turtles ate in favor of delicious, cheesy pizza.

Okay check these out:

What's this? Oh, just the road to the coolest party EVER.

What’s this? Oh, just the road to the coolest party EVER.

None other than the birthday boy, looking fresh to death and ready to party.

None other than the birthday boy, looking fresh to death and ready to party.

Super cute costumes the kids got to make themselves.

Super cute costumes the kids got to make themselves.

The only thing better than pizza is cake. The only thing better than cake is 3-D cake where the Ninja Turtles are coming out of the damn cake.

The only thing better than pizza is cake. The only thing better than cake is 3-D cake where the Ninja Turtles are coming out of the damn cake.

Pin the Pepperoni on the Pizza, the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

Pin the Pepperoni on the Pizza, the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

My friend reported back that she maaaay have gained back some of the calories burned by taste testing the pizza but what was she supposed to do-not try it and risk the kids potentially be poisoned? Not on her watch. If you have any ideas for burning calories, comment below or message me and if you just wanna steal these totally awesome, tubular ideas for your own party go for it. That’s what the Internet is for- reading about other people’s lives, pretending you thought of things first and watching videos of people falling.

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About amber111780

I'm a writer-turned-business owner looking to quell my literary urges while drumming up motivation for my fitness goals by writing about them every chance I get. Every chance that I'm not working, gulping diet soda by the liter, working out, and eating my weight in Sour Patch Kids.
This entry was posted in are the teenage mutant ninja turtles real, can turtles really eat pizza, fun ways to burn calories, how many calories are in birthday cake, how many calories can you burn in a bouncy house, how many calories does kissing burn, how to become a party planner, teenage mutant ninja turtle party ideas and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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