Tag Archives: blog

Waterworld, Not Just A Boring Kevin Costner Movie

I don’t like drinking water. I never have. When I was little I used to call a certain type of stomachache, the kind where liquids slosh around in a too-empty stomach “watery stomach.” I detested those stomachaches as much as … Continue reading

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Holllld On for One More Month

  Did you know that it takes an average of two months to move, unpack all of your belongings into places you think make sense and immediately forget, start to feel settled and write a new blog post? Sounds about … Continue reading

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How to Lose Tons of Weight Eating Pizza

There are two kinds of fitness articles that get me every time: the ones showing people half the size they used to be and ones that talk about how many calories you can burn doing everyday tasks. Did you know … Continue reading

Posted in are the teenage mutant ninja turtles real, can turtles really eat pizza, fun ways to burn calories, how many calories are in birthday cake, how many calories can you burn in a bouncy house, how many calories does kissing burn, how to become a party planner, teenage mutant ninja turtle party ideas | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Garcinia Cambogia Burps Are Worse Than Rob Riggle Ruining Football Broadcasts and Random TV Shows

If you give a mouse garcinia cambogia capsules on an empty stomach he’s going to taste their disgusting herbal-ness every time he burps and threaten to call a bunch of friends to infest your walls if you don’t then give … Continue reading

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My Mea Culpa or Why Ugly Friends Are Not the Answer

I have a friend who disappears a lot. Whenever I see her, it starts with an apology from her. How she is really sorry she has not seen me for the past 30 days, six weeks, four months, insert super … Continue reading

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Have I Mentioned I Don’t Really Like Juice?

Since yesterday I have become fairly obsessed with reading weight loss success stories online. Lots of the ones I read from people who had juiced reported that longstanding medical issues or scars on their body had healed as a result … Continue reading

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Amber and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Two

Okay it’s Day 3 of the Juice Fast. Anyone who has ever read about juice fasting knows that day two is notorious for being as painful as getting a chainsaw shave from Stevie Wonder. Around 6 pm last night a … Continue reading

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