Try to remember the last time you saw an overweight landscaper. Think hard. Harder. There aren’t any. And I know why. The reason is the same reason I have not been able to post the last two days. I was putting in hard time installing a sod lawn for some very grateful homeowners. Installing sod is not ultimately difficult. But it is hard on your body. You stand, kneel and stand again more times than in a Catholic mass, you routinely carry 50 pound rolls, you tote wheelbarrows with five or more rolls hundreds of feet repeatedly in a synchronized dance that lasts 8-9 hours a day. But check this out- on Tuesday I burned 3700 calories and yesterday I burned nearly 4100. Now I don’t know about you but even on a good day when I go balls out at the gym for two hours I’m lucky to get 3000 calories. If it weren’t for the three-day recovery period, I would just install lawns every day and disappear before your eyes, a shrinking, sun-kissed waif keyed up on Diet Pepsi and the sense of accomplishment that comes from taking a barren wasteland and transforming it into a serene yard with lush grass that begs you to lie down and roll around on it.
Here’s a quick summary of the last two days
- Number of diet sodas consumed: 12
- Taco Bell Calories consumed on Day 1: 350 (approx 1.5 soft tacos)- sooo good and what an excuse to indulge!
- Sod rolls installed: 278
- Number of times attempted to urinate in backseat of car rather than leave job site to stay on schedule: 1
- Number of times in which urine stream went wonky resulting in time spent cleaning seat that could have been used driving to a proper restroom: 1
- Pounds of soil imbedded into my person/scalp: Infinite