Lose Weight Fast With An Exciting Career in Landscaping or The Case of the Racist Photo Tag

Try to remember the last time you saw an overweight landscaper. Think hard. Harder. There aren’t any. And I know why. The reason is the same reason I have not been able to post the last two days. I was putting in hard time installing a sod lawn for some very grateful homeowners. Installing sod is not ultimately difficult. But it is hard on your body. You stand, kneel and stand again more times than in a Catholic mass, you routinely carry 50 pound rolls, you tote wheelbarrows with five or more rolls hundreds of feet repeatedly in a synchronized dance that lasts 8-9 hours a day. But check this out- on Tuesday I burned 3700 calories and yesterday I burned nearly 4100. Now I don’t know about you but even on a good day when I go balls out at the gym for two hours I’m lucky to get 3000 calories. If it weren’t for the three-day recovery period, I would just install lawns every day and disappear before your eyes, a shrinking, sun-kissed waif keyed up on Diet Pepsi and the sense of accomplishment that comes from taking a barren wasteland and transforming it into a serene yard with lush grass that begs you to lie down and roll around on it.

Here’s a quick summary of the last two days

  • Number of diet sodas consumed: 12
  • Taco Bell Calories consumed on Day 1: 350 (approx 1.5 soft tacos)- sooo good and what an excuse to indulge!

    Enjoy this gratuitous shirtless photo that came up when I googled "Guy Mowing Lawn"

    Enjoy this gratuitous shirtless photo that came up when I googled “Guy Mowing Lawn”. Dang, racial profile much?

  • Sod rolls installed: 278
  • Number of times attempted to urinate in backseat of car rather than leave job site to stay on schedule: 1
  • Number of times in which urine stream went wonky resulting in time spent cleaning seat that could have been used driving to a proper restroom: 1
  • Pounds of soil imbedded into my person/scalp: Infinite
Advertisements

About amber111780

I'm a writer-turned-business owner looking to quell my literary urges while drumming up motivation for my fitness goals by writing about them every chance I get. Every chance that I'm not working, gulping diet soda by the liter, working out, and eating my weight in Sour Patch Kids.
This entry was posted in Weight Loss and Fitness and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Lose Weight Fast With An Exciting Career in Landscaping or The Case of the Racist Photo Tag

  1. sadclown321 says:

    Umm, I’m an over weight landscaper :-P.
    Ive been landscaping for 8 years and I.know exactly what you mean about non stop hardcore work, doing it all.day every day. And I’m still over weight, buuut I do have these awesome biceps,calfs, triceps, and such.I think the.reason I’m still overweight is cus I drink a large soda, and a huge hamburger with large fries everyday.plus I drink A.LOT off beer when I go out.with friends.( Almost every other night.) And I know about 4 other over weight land scapers. Not sure how to end this comment, sooo. The end.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s